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Welcome to the FUPPPS Editorial Archives, where our databank lets you review all the opinions fit to bark on the critical issue of same sex NIPtuals for the furry, feathered and slithery among us! 


 
 


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     HAPPY HOOVES TROT TO BE FIRST IN LINE TO WED

Boston, MA, May 17, 2004:    Horses, ducks, pooches, pussycats, and many more hairy, feathery and furry folk had as many stars in their eyes last night as were shining in the sky.  Why?  At midnight legal NIPtuals were begun as the new law making same sex weddings legit in Massachusetts became a reality. 

 

Harriet Finster, known raconteur and leading same sex NIPtual advocate in town, was ecstatic.  "Penelope and I are simply overwhelmed.  We have been waiting for this auspicious day for what seems our whole lives," the "mature" sheepdog told us, as she and her new wife held paws and tried to gaze into each other's eyes. 

 

All around us similar scenes were taking place.  Frogs croaking softly to each other, cats rubbing noses continually, horse couples trotting with proud tails erect.  The town was so excited that the local bakers created several huge wedding cakes, one of tuna for the feline contingent, another of dog biscuits in pudding cake batter for pups, hay cakes for the equines, and special bug pies for the frogs.  There were bountiful bowls of fresh water for all, and spiked cider for those who dared to be a little wild on their special day.

 

For the moment, celebrants are throwing caution to the winds.  It seems that by marrying, many same sex couples actually may hurt their financial lives.  The federal government has laws that make getting benefits impossible if one marries a person of the same sex who comes from out-of-country, for example.  Social security, extending ordinarily to the spouse upon death, is not part of the federal code in a same sex marriage, it appears.  And there are other problems that may arise for those who want to pursue this course.

 

But those possible drawbacks are not defeating the multitudes lined up today.  "We want the world to know of our commitment to each other, and our deep love.  That is the important tail to us," seems to be the consensus.

 

Let's join the revelers in their moment of sheer joy with a nip, nip hoorah!

 

 

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