WAY TO GO, PORTLAND!
Portland OR, March 4, 2004: Scads of dogs, cats, frogs and turtles literally
car-pet the steps of City Hall. Lined up since the
cock-a-doodle-doo of dawn, they are here to obtain the blessing
of the city government on their bow/meow/ribbit/splash vows. A
surprising hush fills the air. No barking or growling, no big
leaps from the frogs as they tenderly gaze into their partners'
goggly eyes. All turtles have their heads out, finally daring
to trust the politicians. Going a little far, you might say,
but in this case, fair enough.
newlyweds Sarah and Jessica Parkernese. "I have loved Jess all my
life," Sarah said through tears (which made it especially hard for
her to see since both she and her mate are sheepdogs). "And we're
both so happy," Jessica added, snuffling slightly and blinking back
tears of her own. "We couldn't imagine this would happen, and
... she's just ... she's all I've ever panted after!"
Perhaps the biggest
moment this morning came when the first couple to complete the
ceremony, Harry and Paul Froggins, virtually catapulted out of the
building. They were clearly so filled with happiness that all
who observed them were transformed. A French radio correspondent,
pointing a microphone down toward the couple as he got ready to go
live, wasn't even offended when they sprang up to his bent knees and
croaked, "Nous t'adorons aussi, mon frère!"
The number of cats
streaking down the aisle has been almost uncountable. As their
purrs resonate within the bodies of celebrants and members of the
press, you can feel everyone vibrating in tempo.
Aren't you? Ask
your pets if they'd like to become officially hitched. And then add
your pawsignature to the FUPPPS pet-ition today!
Let's send a wakeup
caw to more of our city, state and national representatives --
support same sex NIPtuals now!
FUPPPS Editorial Board